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Dear friends,
One of my summer hobbies is working in the garden. It wasn't always a hobby; in fact, when I was a kid we had a large family garden and I hated to work out there. It wasn't so bad picking the peas or beans or other vegetables, but what a waste of time to do all that hoeing! The darn weeds just grew back anyway. I remember standing in the garden, hoe over my shoulder, "keeping Mom company" while she did the bulk of the work. I much preferred doing something "that only had to be done once." No, gardening was not on my list.
I muse at how the interest developed in me many years later. But that's a story for another time. What I want to focus on today are weeds. Yes, those troublesome little plants that try to take over the growing space of the good stuff and make the otherwise attractive rows and hills an untidy mess. Did you ever notice that the tomatoes may be withering for lack of water, but the sturdy little weeds seem to be thriving despite the drought? Why is that?
Jesus tells a parable about a man who sowed good seed in his field, but during the night his enemy came and sowed weeds all through the wheat. What is a farmer to do? Pull out all the weeds? Hardly. That might uproot the wheat. No, we're going to have to let both grow together and sort them out at harvest time.
An allegory for our own lives, don't you think? We can easily succumb to the temptation that there are "fields" or people who are either wheat or weeds. We assume that we are the "wheat" and all those who have different sets of values are the "weeds."
Yet, if we're honest, we have to admit that we are all a mixture of the two. Jesus would certainly want us to get rid of the "weeds" in our lives: those bad habits that hurt others and ourselves. But Jesus also knows how deeply they are rooted in us. Some, perhaps many, of our bad habits and sins we will take to our graves, despite our best efforts to overcome them.
The good news of this gospel story is that if we sincerely try to live an upright life yet struggle with our human frailty in doing so, God will not judge us vindictively. The weeds will eventually be removed, but not by us. God will burn away whatever stands in the way of our holiness and will let us experience the Kingdom. There is "good ground for hope," as another Scripture passage reminds us.
One of the reasons I enjoy gardening is the gentle reminder that while I put the seeds into the ground, it is the Lord who sends the sun and rain to germinate them. While I try to keep the garden clean, the weeds still come, and sometimes I can't remove them because they're growing too close to the other plants. I recognize some "weeds" in me; but some are tied so closely to my personality that I'll not be able to change them. "It's OK," Jesus says. "I'll take care of it when it's time. For now, trust in my care and mercy and remember that 'those who are just must be kind.'" A good lesson from the garden, don't you think?
Love, Sr. Edna
Dear friends,
The days of Lent roll on so quickly; would that our conversion moved that fast, eh? I write this letter midway through this holy season as a reminder to myself as much as to you, to take inventory. Did I consciously choose a Lenten practice, and am I being faithful to that practice? Am I beginning to notice little signs that this practice is “paying off” in a better Me or has the practice become an endurance test that I may boast about when Easter comes and quickly discard until next Lent? What in me needs to change? Where is God calling me to conversion so that my true Self may shine without encumbrances?
A friend and I were recently talking about stress - how it’s so hard to avoid, and so challenging to deal with in a healthy way. I was sharing some insights from Robert Wicks in his recently published book, Bounce: Living the Resilient Life. He poses a set of questions that calls for personal reflection, questions that can help us grow in self-knowledge. When we come before God as we are, being utterly honest, we become vulnerable enough for God to transform us. So I share with you his questions with hopes that we will better understand our own coping skills (or lack thereof), and come to live more in harmony with the situations and people around us. Perhaps you’ll want to share your answers with a spouse or trusted friend…
1. How do you deal with persons who are very demanding?
2. How do you blunt (“medicate”) the pain you experience in your work and family life?
3. In what instances do you “dump” on coworkers or family?
4. What type of person “gets to you”?
5. How do you handle the unrealistic expectations of your job?
6. What past personal and professional failures haunt you, and how have you learned from them?
7. What prevents you from fully responding to life at home and in the work setting?
8. How do you handle unscheduled events in the day?
9. What are the things that you tend to lie to yourself about or hide from coworkers and family?
10. What triggers your anger most easily?
11. What do you feel you are most insecure about?
12. What is having the greatest negative impact on both your professional and personal lives?
13. How have you addressed the imbalances in your home life (with spouse, children, and friends) given the intensity of work?
14. What are the ways you address problems at work such as understaffing or poorly trained staff, incompetence or poor work ethics, chronic complaining, rigidity, narrow compartmentalizing of responsibilities and not stepping beyond these roles, and overcompensation by some to deal with weaknesses of others?
15. When do you find yourself not listening to family or friends because you feel emotionally exhausted or see their problems as less important than those of people at work?
16. What themes run through your daydreams and night dreams?
17. What recent events at home and work produce in you the most guilt, resentment, or embarrassment?
18. When are you the most bored with work and what do you do about it?
19. What are the coping mechanisms you use when you feel overwhelmed?
I realize these are not typical examination of conscience questions, but I think they are very real. If we can grow in self-knowledge even this much this Lent and offer our broken selves to God, who knows what God might do with the likes of us! Peace and healing be with you all.
Love, Sr. Edna
February 2010
DeColores! Everyone.
I trust that you are well into Lent these days as well as preparing for the two weekends for Men in March and Women in April with fasting, prayer, almsgiving and palanca. We should be pretty good at Lent because we do palanca all the time. It should be a weekly or daily practice, not just when a weekend is scheduled. Just think of all the prayer needs each one of us has and then multiply it by a bazillion. And that would only touch the surface of the need.
I gotta share with you a rediscovery of a mine. I was going through some files and came across an old Pilgrim’s Guide. It’s not the original but close. I started to look through it and discovered it’s wealth again …for the first time. As it says, “To be on a Pilgrimage is to journey through Christ to the Father under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, with the help of Mary and all the saints as you bring your sisters and brothers along with you.” There should be a mighty long procession at this point in our history. Hopefully not many of us got out of line.
As a priest I didn’t refer to the Pilgrim’s Guide very often because I have the Divine Office and other prayers that are set for us clergy already. And I figured the P.G. was a tool for the laity. Yet, every time I go through it myself I find new things to ponder and think about. Yes there is a guide to Scripture reading and meditation with links to psalms and passages from the Bible; there is a guide to the art of meditation; as well as, prayers and prayer exercises. There is also a treatise on the movement itself, the purpose and methodology of Cursillo, the layout of the Movement and of the three day weekend.
It’s a handy tool and as the title describes…it’s a guide to our spiritual life on the way to heaven. Hopefully it will remind us we are going.
I found a neat little story I’d like to share.
A mother camel and her baby are talking one day and the baby camel asks, “Mom, why have we got these huge three-toed feet?” The mother replies, “To enable us to trek across the soft sand of the desert without sinking.” “And why have we got these long, heavy eyelashes?” “To keep the sand out of our eyes on trips through the desert” replies the mother camel. “And mom why have we got these big humps on our backs?” The mother, now getting a little impatient with her young one replies, “They are there to help us store fat for our long journeys across the desert, so we can go for long distances without water.” “OK, I get it!” says the baby camel, “We have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and humps to store water. Then, mom, why the heck are we here in the Toronto Zoo in this freezing Canada weather?”
Cursillo equips us for the long journey of life. The Pilgrim’s Guide is but one of those tools.
Another tool is being an authentic sponsor. Everyone who lives a weekend is eligible but it is more than just signing some one up. You have to become their BFFL and companion them on the journey.
Remember, MAKE a FRIEND…that takes intentional effort; BE a FRIEND…that takes time and commitment; and BRING that FRIEND to CHRIST. (Maybe through cursillo but that’s not always necessary. Some folks know Christ already, more than we do perhaps. How many fallen away Catholics do you know? How many un churched people are out there? Folks, we have a lot of work to do.
Take care. Ultreya!
Fr Jim Brown
January 2010
The wondrous and joyous season of Christmas is passed and now we settle into the “routine” of ordinary time of the liturgical year.
The term "Ordinary Time" may be misleading. In the context of the liturgical year the term "ordinary" does not mean "usual or average or routine." Ordinary here means "not seasonal." Ordinary Time is that part of the Liturgical Year that lies outside the seasons of Lent-Easter and Advent-Christmas. In Ordinary Time, the Church celebrates the mystery of Christ not in one specific aspect but in all its aspects. The readings during the liturgies of Ordinary Time help to instruct us on how to live out our Christian faith in our daily lives.
Ordinary Time in the Church's year occurs in two sections. The first part begins on the Monday following the Christmas season, which ends with the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord on the Sunday following January 6. It lasts through the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season. Ordinary Time resumes after the Easter Season, on the Monday after Pentecost, and continues until evening prayer on the Saturday before the First Sunday of Advent. The feast of Christ the King is the last Sunday of Ordinary Time and of the liturgical year.
The liturgical color for Ordinary Time is green, a sign of hope. And, the symbol for Ordinary Time is the Chi Rho. The Chi Rho is a Christian symbol that dates from the early Church. It is comprised of the first two letters of the Greek word for Messiah, Christos—the letter Chi looks like the letter "X", and the letter Rho looks like the letter "P." This abbreviation became a symbol representing Jesus Christ.
What does this mean to Cursillistas? To begin, this is our cycle of liturgical celebration as Christians and is a very special time for us to reflect on the mystery of the life of Christ. Ordinary time, in a kind of a way, reminds us that the Cursillo weekend is a joyous and wondrous moment to experience; it is special and life changing. Also, by “working” a Cursillo, we have the privilege and joy of re-experiencing the weekend. But the most import time is living out the fourth day, our ordinary time. It is here that we reflect on the mystery of Christ in our lives and contemplate how this life in Christ is being lived on a daily basis; it is a time on how our faith is continuing to mature. It is also a time in which we continue to witness this faith to others by making friends and bringing them to greater knowledge of Jesus.
Ordinary time or the forth day is about seeking a deeper, more profound relationship with the Lord in the ordinary experiences of life.
Deacon Alfredo M. Díaz
December 2009
Dear Sisters and Brothers in the Lord,
It’s Advent and Christmas for our Toledo Cursillo Movement too! We’re longing and anticipating, waiting and preparing to invite the Lord once again more deeply into our Movement. It is not ‘same ol’”, here we go again or anything “usual.” Christmas and Easter should never be, but we’re human and so we have to remind and encourage and even cajole one another to have true conversion moments. This is one of them.
Many of you know that I try to accomplish this by looking, longing for the Christ in a special way each Christmas. In years past, I have looked for the coming of the Jesus of Hope, the Jesus of Prayer, the Jesus of Peace and so on. This year I am looking for the Jesus of Reconciliation. I have come to that hope because of the animosity I feel all around, very often occasioned by the political turmoil we’re experiencing because of the economy, the health care reform, the scandals and our being at war.
I hear so often people speaking very derogatorily about our elected officials of all types, especially in partisan language about important factors like abortion and immigration. I would love to hear respectful challenges to search together for truth, a best way and moral guidelines that would honor one another and let the real Spirit of Jesus have some sway in open hearts.
So, I’m preparing for this by examining my own life and conscience to discover where I fail to respect others who disagree with me and situations where I must stand up for the right I perceive in the face of opposition and disrespect. My celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation I hope to be a real soul searching conversion experience that continues well into 2010.
In this Advent and Christmas journey I am especially caught up in our efforts to recapture the goodness of the Cursillo Movement and revitalize our desire to make friends, be friends and bring those friends to Jesus. I’m looking for the enthusiasm with and for one another in the Movement that captures ourselves (one another) and others in excitement about changing our environments. I’m looking for a renewed fervor which I can sustain and which will sustain me. I’m one of those with a lot on my plate. I’m taking a look at that so I can talk with others about priorities we can work together on. I’m excited about a new Christmas for our area cores full of sisters and brothers willing to serve one another cuz I want to hear witnesses about efforts to make a difference in our world!
May YOU have a fruitful Advent and a very Spirit-filled Christmas. Let’s celebrate the tremendous good we have in the Movement!
Joyful ultreya,
Fr. Skip
September 2009
Dear friends,
Two recent occurrences prompt the topic of this letter. One is the recent outbursts of undisciplined anger at town hall meetings on health care. The other is the death of Senator Edward Kennedy, dubbed the Lion of the Senate for both his fiery speeches and his respect for those ‘across the aisle.’ Anger is the common denominator, but the way anger is handled is decidedly different. Anger is a powerful emotion, given to us by God to help us protect people and values that need protection. However, anger, being only a motivating force, needs the guidance of discretion, respect and control or it will become a wildfire. A generation of TV watchers has been subtly formed by the popular notion that speaking one’s mind and acting out one’s feelings indiscriminately are justified, irrespective of another’s dignity or the benefit such anger offers to society. Too often rudeness, put-downs and sarcastic remarks (all forms of anger) are favorably judged with great outbursts of laughter or applause from the audience on sit-coms and ‘who’s got talent’ shows. Isn’t it time to reclaim anger for its God-intended purpose?
The higher side of us knows that people are to be respected and treated with dignity, even when we strongly disagree with their values and opinions. Didn’t we learn that in kindergarten? However, we’ve also learned that ‘stuffing’ our anger is not the solution either. So what are we to do when anger flares inside us?
Over the years I’ve picked up some good advice from various sources* that I offer for your own reflection. It begins with one’s attitude about anger. If I see anger as a negative emotion, I will deny it when it flares in me, and the energy generated by anger will be stored in me. Long-term storing of anger can cause physical reactions such as head-aches, skin problems, high blood pressure, strokes and heart attacks, digestive problems. It can also lead to eating and sleeping disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, sexual acting out, depression and boredom, passive aggressive behavior (slamming doors, deceit, silence, sugary-sweetness, aggressive driving habits, etc.).
If I see anger as a positive emotion, created by God for the purpose of protecting someone or something that deserves protection, I have a choice: to let the anger be destructive or constructive. Destructive anger can take on various forms: 1) direct hostility, in which I treat another as an enemy; 2) Displaced hostility, in which I “take out” my anger on a “safe person;” 3) apathetic hostility in which I ignore the problem, choosing to be uninvolved; or 4) free-floating hostility, in which I attack anyone, anytime, over anything. Constructive anger takes the enormous energy that comes from the rush of adrenalin and channels it into creative solutions to the problem(s) at hand. Constructive anger engages our intellect and will, our physical endurance and the resources of our moral and ethical values to make a positive difference in the life of another or in the quality of life we share in common.
How do I move from sudden, over-reactive and uncontrollable explosions of temper to harness the tremendous energy needed for positive change? Here’s a method of dealing with anger that I’ve found helpful. It comes in several steps.
Calm down so I am free to make a wise decision about how to express this anger appropriately. I can do that by temporarily removing myself physically from the situation that spawned the angry reaction. Physical exercise is another helpful way to siphon off some of the potent energy so that I can engage my intellect and value system. Meditation, deep breathing, doodling or journaling, and listening to soothing music are other ways that people have found helpful to get through the first surge of high-powered anger.
Once I have calmed down, I can allow myself to feel the anger without worrying that it will get out of hand. I can examine how intense the anger is. Perhaps writing a letter to the person, but not sending it can also let me experience the anger in a controlled setting.
Think through the anger. What is the cause? What has triggered the feeling? What belief that I hold is the REAL cause of my anger in this situation? Once I have the cause determined, I rate its importance; e.g., is it a personal preference or an injustice that I feel called to defend or change? Then I examine and strive to purify my motives for responding to this anger; e.g. Will I confront the person in order to preserve our friendship or is it to get even? Good questions to ask myself at this stage are: Is my anger justified? What are my true motives for expressing my anger? Is the intensity of my anger a help or a hindrance to finding a solution? Am I treating the offending person with dignity? Or am I communicating the message that the person is stupid, insensitive, immature, ill-intentioned, neurotic, or immoral? Am I open to the possibility that I could be totally or partially wrong in my perception of the situation? Am I open to the possibility that I may have, directly or indirectly contributed to the problem? Am I allowing myself to feel other emotions in addition to anger, e.g., compassion, mercy, kindness, forgiveness… or do I have a vested interest in feeling only 100% high octane anger?
Talk over the situation with someone who can be objective and helpful in sorting it out. This is a tricky step. We can be tempted to do this before we have gone through the above steps. If we ‘vent’ to a sympathetic ear too early in the process, we typically find that we have only justified and intensified our anger. But once we have worked through the initial steps in dealing with anger and are no longer looking for sympathy as much as truth, this conversation can be very helpful.
Act in a freely chosen and appropriate way. I may choose to talk directly with the person involved. I may need to change the beliefs that are the cause of my anger. I may choose to channel my energy into an organization that is dedicated to righting the wrong that so offends me. I may choose to forgive the offender. These are just a few possible choices that I can make, but each of them is a healthier response to anger than just “letting it fly” as it surfaces in us. Jesus modeled the appropriate expression of anger without attacking another’s dignity and worth. If we follow him, chances are we’ll be generating more light than heat when situations arise that prompt an angry reaction. And doesn’t our world need that?
*cf. Michael Cavanaugh, “Anger: Something to Shout About”, US Catholic, plus anonymous sources.
--Sister Edna Michel
May 2009
A few days ago I was reviewing the “job description” for Spiritual Advisors of the Toledo Diocesan Cursillo Movement and came across this sentence: “Emphasize and model the vital role of prayer and palanca in the movement.” Palanca, we’re told as we get introduced to the word, means “lever” or “crow bar” – something which helps move an object when ordinary strength isn’t enough. It’s not an exaggeration to say that we wouldn’t have a Cursillo movement without it. There is a strength needed to accept the invitation from Christ to be his special disciple and apostle that goes beyond what most of us have within us. We would more likely say, “I’m not worthy; I’m not holy enough; I’m just an ordinary person; I’m not a leader.” There is a strength needed to persevere in the method for it’s so easy to slip into, “Not this week; I’m too busy… I joined a parish prayer group instead…, etc.” There is a strength needed to keep caring for one another, because in any long-term relationship (and that’s what the Fourth Day is) there will inevitably be tensions, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, etc. that will tempt us to walk away from anything “Cursillo” and never look back. Very literally, palanca is the glue that keeps the community together. It is the spiritual adrenalin to get us going, and our constant support to keep us going.
There is a difference between palanca and palanca letters. Palanca is the actual prayer, sacrifices and good deeds that we do, offered for the good of others. The letters we write are merely vehicles of communication in which we reveal the specific palanca we have done or are doing. Sometimes we confuse the two. Let’s say you were never good at grammar or writing but there is a Cursillo weekend coming up and you decide to write every candidate and every team member a personal letter (because it’s hard and you hate to do it). You tell them what a good person they are and how you hope they will have a great time on the weekend. You may be putting yourself ‘through the mill’ but that’s not necessarily palanca, because instead of praying or fasting or doing a good deed for a neighbor you are using all your time and energy writing letters! Think about it; wouldn’t a better “lever” be to spend that amount of time before the Blessed Sacrament opening yourself to the Holy Spirit and asking the Spirit to move among the team and candidates? Or doing some spiritual reading which can make us all more receptive to God? Or making a special effort to visit a disgruntled neighbor who is in a nursing home? Or fasting and letting your hunger open both you and the candidates to deeper dimensions of God? And when you have done so, jot a note to the whole group and let them know of your support. I’m not even going to comment on roses, candy, stuffed animals, toys, greeting cards, balloons, pins, statues, bookmarks and “hang-ons” – not palanca, right?
That brings me to the issue of general palanca letters and individual letters. Hopefully, you don’t tell God that you intend your prayers and sacrifices and good deeds to benefit N and N and N, but not N and N and N! Of course not! We want the Spirit to touch everyone! Our palanca is therefore offered for everyone. So writing one letter addressed to all is really sufficient to communicate your palanca, not so? Yes, yes, if you are close friends with a few of the team members or are sponsoring a candidate and want to write a personal letter, go ahead, but maybe that note is better given to them before the weekend as they prepare, or afterwards when they get back home.
I’ve seen personal palanca letters distract from the formation of a community on a Cursillo weekend. By the time palanca is introduced on Friday afternoon people are beginning to “get into” the talks and table discussions. This may the first real taste of Christian community they’ve ever had. They may begin to share their faith and lived experience in a way they’ve never done before. The palanca (which they hear about through a few general letters) being done by people who don’t even know them is incredible. Then they typically get a stack of personal letters. Some of them may be from people who don’t even know what palanca is… their kids, their spouse, their co-workers. What happens? Their mind goes right out the door and is immediately back home, thinking about all those relationships instead of being fully here, in this place, forming something new, open to what God may want to do here. Just about the time they’ve all mentally come back to the room, more letters are distributed, and once more the community-under-construction is disbanded and unwittingly ‘sent back home.’
Then there is the problem of some people getting more letters than others. So rather than spending personal contact time with candidates, in order to address this inequity, a group of team members gets busy behind the scenes and jots off quick notes to even the score. (We wouldn’t want envy to spoil the experience). I don’t know if the letters represent any extra palanca… perhaps just more letters. There’s a difference.
I write all this a bit wary that I may have to wear armor the next time I come to a Cursillo gathering! I’m not laying down rules; I’m just trying to get us to take a closer look at what we are doing and to challenge all of us to ask ourselves, “Do our Cursillo customs and traditions make sense?” “Is my palanca authentic?” “Has my notion of palanca gotten soft and fuzzy to the point of no longer providing the spiritual strength the movement and all the people in it really need?” “What is essential and what is not?” “On what will I focus my time and energy?”
I realize I’ve written mostly about palanca for the Cursillo weekend, but our entire movement needs it all the time, especially as we try to revitalize. I better stop for now. Pray, sacrifice and work for the coming of God’s reign. Those levers will not fail to move the objects that we, on our own, can’t budge.
De Colores!
- Sister Edna Michel
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